Off With Their Legs!

There are somhttp://blog.denimtherapy.com/denimnews/score-the-perfect-pair-of-cut-off-shorts-for-august-from-coal-n-terry-vintage/ttp://blog.denimtherapy.com/denimnews/score-the-perfect-pair-of-cut-off-shorts-for-august-from-coal-n-terry-vintage/ trends that should never be embraced by anyone other than drunk college students--they get a pass because they can look back and say "I was drunk".  One such trend is cut off shorts.  No, not the ones most of us had when we were kids and got a hole in the knee and mom cut them into shorts reasonable to wear in public.  No, I am talking about the mom jeans cut into booty shorts and then everything in the Hobby Lobby discount bin affixed to them as "embellishment".  These, folks, are not suitable clothes for adults or persons in general.

Yes, it is winter in places.  However, there is a large area of the country experiencing a season called "not summer" where such garments can be gotten away with without dying so I feel that such a post is still relevant.  Sure, it is nice that people are reusing discarded garments to make these but sometimes we need to ask ourselves "maybe they need to be discarded for a reason" and "where can I donate this that recycles textiles?"  Industrial rags would be a better use for them.  Just because you "decorated it yourself" does not mean you did a great job or that you should wear your art.  Slathering t-shirt paint on your shorts does not make you a creative genius.

There are several logical reasons to dislike this trend.  The pants themselves that are being used--high waisted pants and mom jeans--are not a good look, period.  Shorts so short I don't have to wonder what cheek your tattoo is on are not in keeping with our social contract where we have agreed that such things are to be seen only at private parties.  It is hard to take someone seriously when their crotch is coated in glitter, puff paint and metal spikes.

Sure, you can wear these shorts.  Just do so in private since the rest of us don't want to have to see your privates when we're just trying to buy dinner at the grocery store.


Photo is from http://blog.denimtherapy.com/denimnews/score-the-perfect-pair-of-cut-off-shorts-for-august-from-coal-n-terry-vintage/

Pajama Jeans--The Apocalypse Has Arrived

Lord have mercy.  Humanity has discovered a way to make jeggings even worse.  This is known as "pajama jeans".

I was watching Top Chef and minding my own business when this horrible commercial came on.  "Jeans" for you to sleep in.  Complete with fake fly affixed.  Apparently, someone thinks that jeans are hard to get on and uncomfortable--my advice is to then buy the right size and quit trying to wear something you stole from a 14 year old.

Here is why I think Pajama Jeans are only fit to be thrown away, a completely stupid trend.  Your pants should not pretend to be something they're not.  These pants are not jeans, they're spandex tubes that you probably shouldn't wear.  They're not going to do you any favors--no way they hide cellulite, lumps or saggy bottom disease.  They make it worse.  Also, you do not need to look fully dressed, complete with jeans when you are sleeping.  Worse yet, there is no need to wander around in public in your pajamas.  PLEASE DON'T.  No one wants to see you in your pjs.  That's why we make regular pants.  Regular pants aren't scary, they are your friend and you should wear them.

One of my favorite things is that the UK chain store Tesco has banned shoppers from wandering their aisles while wearing their pajamas.  Seems reasonable enough.  But, for some bizarre reason, people have decided that they must circumvent this rule and have decided that Pajama Jeans are the way to go.  Now, what on earth makes people try to avoid wearing normal pants at all costs?!